Blog Archives

What do YOU want to see?

So, after countless hours of falling, shooting, smacking and general madness, we have decided to try something new. Every one of you have something that you would like to do, or if you aren’t up to do it, would like someone else to do. Sadism is inherent in each human being on this earth, and we all derive a certain pleasure, conscious or subconscious, whenever another person hurts himself or gets hurt. Often the feeling is amplified by seeing the other person fail in the most extreme way possible. You feel a sense of wonder, a small part of you knows that he deserved it, a small part of you feel sorry for him, but the majority of your being feels compelled to shout “Oh Snap!” as loud as you can.

Therein lies the secret. Whenever you see a clip of a kid falling on his face, a guy falling off his BMX, someone getting tazed, whatever the case may be, you just HAVE to share it. You just HAVE to!  The readers who are on Facebook and Twitter knows what I’m talking about. When you see an epic fail on YouTube or Break, you instinctively click on the myriad of share buttons below the clip. It’s almost a instant response.

Now, for the plan… If you have an awesome idea you would like us to try (Now, don’t be naive and say jump off a building or set yourself on fire), you can either post it on our Fanpage Wall or send us an e-mail to jovaara1985@gmail.com with the heading Xtremity. Pete and I will then review the idea and make adjustments if needed. If it is a realistic idea, it will be filmed and uploaded!

 

Also, we are planning the launch of a competition soon! We’re working on the final details, but if will involve winning some pretty cool Dudes of Hazard merch! Keep an eye out, maybe the next entry will disclose full details and what it entails!

 

In the meanwhile, here is a new clip we filmed in the dead of night…The lighting sucks a little bit, but it’s still a pretty cool clip. Check it out if you have some time to spare.

Until next time, share this blog, share Dudes of Hazard fanpage, check out our YouTube Channel, subscribe and follow us on Twitter too!

Much Love!! – JV

 

Die Laksman

 

 

Kak Idees…Die Top 5

Hierdie was die kakste idee wat ons nog ooit gehad het.

So, oor die jare heen vanaf 2008 het ons ‘n paar lekker kak idees gehad. Party van hulle was sommer net pleinweg kak, ander was minder kak…maar steeds kak. Hierdie Blog entry gaan so bietjie in Afrikaans wees…ek sien op Twitter en Facebook hoe die mense sommer so bly word soos diere as die woord Afrikaans gemention word, so hier gaat hy.

Ek dink wat ek gaan doen hier is om ons Top 5 Kak Idees te bespreek…Mmm…jaaa.

Kak Idee  #5: Flaming Croc

Ahhh jaa. Die Flaming Croc was 'n kak idee van die begin af.

Ahhh jaa. Die Flaming Croc was ‘n kak idee van die begin af. Om mekaar te wil staan en slaan met goeters wat brand is oor die algemeen nie die beste idee nie, en iewers gaan die kak spat. Die bright idee, soos meeste van julle weet, is deur Pete uitgedink. Die plan is om ‘n croc (Ja, daai plakkie goed wat jou soos ‘n totale doos laat lyk in die publiek, en jou voete laat honk soos ‘n Soweto visneus) in thinners te dip, aan die brand te steek en iemand te slaan met die ding terwyl hy brand. Nie so lekker nie, daai croc brand apparently die choppa wat geslaan word laat hy weet, en skroei bietjie jou hare en laat jou soos ‘n stroois ruik. Maar die nie al nie. As jy mos dink jy’s slim, en wil nie die croc gaan koop ten duurste nie, seil jy af na een van hierdie Chink shoppies toe en gaan koop so paar van die fake crocs vir 30 bokke. Dink jy spaar geld op die einde van die dag, maar die waarheid is daai goed is ‘n klomp tos en smelt soos ‘n Clover melkbottel op ‘n braaivleis rooster. Sou jy dan die ding swaai om iemand te slaan sal daai plastic wat so lekker gesmelt het orals spat, alles brand en verniel, en dan eindig jy op in die hospitaal. Hoe de donner verduidelik jy vir die dokter jy is gelaan met ‘n croc wat aan die brand is. Hy dink seker jy is die grootste tang onder die son as jy dit vir hom sê, maar bokke is

In sy moer in gebrand met 'n croc

bokke, so hy help jou maar. Dan eindig jy op ‘n lekker Simba chippy soos Pete. In sy moer in gebrand met ‘n cheapstuf croc wat gesmelt het en sommer op hom ook vasgesmelt het, en tweedegraadse brandwonde gelos het. Hoe super awesome was daai kak idee? Nie so awesome vir hom wat ‘n maand lank soos ‘n plank moes loop nie en elke aand van sy herstel so kakdik laag Betadine moes opsmeer nie. Chuck Norris het niks op Pete nie. Dit was inderdaad ‘n yster gewees.

Kak Idee  #4: Guitar Smash

Kyk enige awesome action movie nê, dan sien jy iewers in die movie is daar iemand wat in sy moer in geslaan word met ‘n guitar, so dat jy net sien stukkies hout en snare en kak spat. Die choppa wat geslaan word is gewoonlik ‘n taai bees en draai om die bliksem almal rondom hom dan half dood. Moeg vir die storie het ons besluit om dit te toest en te sien of jy regtig so ding kan breek op iemand se rug.

So guitar is donners hard. Hy breek nie vir 'n moer nie.

Chuck gaan haal mos dan een van sy famous guitars…en nou moet ek vir julle ook sê, dis nie eers ‘n ordentlike ding soos ‘n Fender of iets nie. Nee, dis sommer net so cheapstuff Cash Crusaders Sanchez guitar. Hoe hard kan hy possibly wees? Daar steek ons vir Gail op om hom te slaan met die ding, want hoe awesome sal dit nie wees dat ‘n chick ‘n guitar om hom smash nie. Dit sal hot wees. Gee vir Gail handskoene en tune haar om hom te slaan. Sy slaan hom twee of drie keer en die ding kraak nie eers nie. Wat se kak is dit. Slimjan wat ons is sal ons mos nou dink sy is te lig in die broek vir die storie, so ek vat die guitar om hom uit te haal.

Ek het hom ‘n koekhou gslaan, jy kan op die slo-mo van die video hoor hoe “sccchwinggg” daai snare soos hy travel. KAPWAW! Chuck is half in sy moer in geslaan en die guitar makeer niks. So, mag ek jou vra wat se kak daai choppas op die movies praat. Jy sal nooit in jou lewe daai ding kan breek op iemand nie. Nie vir ‘n moer nie. So jy dit regkry met een of ander miracle sal die arme ou heel waarskynlik lê en vrek en verstik in ‘n plas van sy eie bloed wat hy gaan uitkots met sy vergruisde ribbes en geskeurde longe.

'n Vet merk

Nie ‘n blink plan nie. So daai myth is proven… Chuck het vir 2 maande geloop met so vet merk op sy rug, en hy het heeldag gemoan oor hoe kak seer die ding  is. Hy was erger as ‘n donnerse vroumens gewees. So leer ons uit die eskapade uit dat ‘n guitar hard soos kak is, en nie breek nie. Hy breek dalk teen ‘n boom, maar nie op ‘n mens nie.

Kak Idee  #3: Infernal Showdown

Dit lyk altyd so lekker as jy ‘n clip sien van iemand wat geskiet word met Roman Candles. Maar die probleem is net dan die choppa wat geskiet word gewoonlik net so een of twee shots van en dan weghardloop soos ‘n moer. Dit lyk nie baie seer nie, ek bedoel, regtig. Dis net soos ‘n paintballgun…hy skiet sagter en die paintball is aan die brand. Hoe erg kan dit wees?

Dink jy dis pissies wat weghardloop vir crackers?

Glo my, as jy staan vir meer as vyf van daai goed, is jy diep in die kak. Dit lyk nie erg nie, so ek dink mos ek is ‘n leeu en trek ‘n sweismasker aan en gaan staan dat omtrent so 8 van ons vriende my skiet met daai goeters. Op die gelyke tyd. Nou elkeen van daai pypies het omtrent to 60-100 pellet goedjies in. Dit was ‘n kak plan. Dink ek mos nog ek is taai en gaan staan vir alles, hoe erg kan dit wees? DIS KAK!! Daai goedjie tref jou met so spoed, en omdat hy so warm is smelt van hulle vas in jou vel. Dis bullshit. Ek het probeer om dit uit te hou, maar kon net nie. Een van hulle het my nipple is sy donner in gebrand, ‘n ander een het so in my naeltjie gepop en hom moer toe gebrand, en dan nog een wat so in my nek vasgemelt het. Daai kak was kak. een van hulle het tot onder die masker in gekom, die donner weet hoe. Ek kan bly wees hy het nie explode in my gevreet nie, anders sou ek jammer gewees het. Dit maak nie eintlik saak nie want ek was jammer daarna. Ek het seker 30 brandplekke gehad op my lyf.

Dit was sommer kak

Dis amper so erg soos om ‘n lomp sigaret barndmerke te hê op jou lyf. Weet jy hoe kak moeilik is dit om te slaap met daai brandmerke. Jy kannie op jou rig of op jou maag lê nie, want dis net merke orals. Daai crackers is kak. Kak van die duiwel. So daai choppas wat twee van die goed wat en skree” Eina nee dis seer”… MAN UP en vat meer van hulle.

Kak Idee  #2: New Table Manners

Hoe slim dink jy is dit om ‘n vurk in jou arm te peg? Nie baie slim nie, nê? En dan nog beter, hoe slim is dit om ‘n vurk in jou EIE arm te peg. Dis presies wat Chuck gedoen het. Nie baie slim nie, aangesien jy bloedvergiftiging en allerhande kak kan kry van dit. Maar dink jy ons worry oor daai? Nee wat, steek on in die arm en vloek so bietjie soos ‘n matroos.

Moenie stres nie. Dis net 'n vurk

Dis nie so erg nie. Dis net ‘n vurk in die arm. Hy het daai ding met mening in sy poot in gesteek. Dit was nie baie slim nie. Die bloed wat daar uitgekom het was so bright rooi gewees. Duidelik het hy iets daar raakgesteek wat hy nie eintlik moes gesteek het nie. Chuck het so bietjie daar gevloek en gekrul van die pyn, maar het die vurk self uitgetrek. Die ding het nie eers so baie gebloei nie. Vee die bloed af met ‘n lap en daar gaat hy. Tetnis inspuitings en al daai kak moet maar wag tot ons actually geld het vir dit. Vir nou doen Dettol en Staaldruppels die job goed genoeg.

Sou iemand danders dalk die vurk in sy arm gesteek het sou dit dalk nie so awesome gewees het nie, maar net omdat hy dit self gedoen het is die beste van die shit. En hy was nie eers baie ge-phase daaroor nie want so paar minute later het hy op sy foon gepraat met so ander moer wat ‘n weet nie hoeveel meter se sweep het daar by hom nie, en Chuck wil geslaan word met die ding. Hy gaan voel soos ‘n visneus in die 1950’s wat iets gesteel het en nou die straf kry van so paar houe met die sweep.

Kak Idee  #1: Shitbox9™

Hierdie kak is sommer kak

Hierdie kak vat die koek. Of sal ek sê dit vat die kak. Die hele idee was om Pete in ‘n boks te sit, en ‘n bottle gemufde kak in ‘m mayonaise bottel naby sy gesig te sit laat hy dit opsnuif en hopelik bietjie te kots. Die idee het gewerk, maar dit was siek. Daai kak het ge-HONK! Dit was ondraaglik. Almal het rondgestaan en geruk en holle geruk..

Tot die honde het kom kyk wat de donner gaan aan hier. Daai idee was kak. Alhoewel dit nie te kak was nie, want ons beplan nou weer ‘n Shitbox9™  maar baie beter en baie groter! Soos om hom in ‘n yskasboks te sit met ‘ sambreel en die shit oor die sambreel te gooi en dan sien wat doen hy. Dit sal awesome wees.

 

En dit is die einde van die Afrikaanse Blog. Ahh jaaa. Dit was die regte ding om te doen.

Onthou om hier te join op ons Facebook Fan Page, waar jy eksklusiewe goeters kan kry at niemand anders het nie, soos fotos en ou videos en updates. Check ons videos op YouTube en volg ons ook op Twitter!

Stay awesome, & stay safe! – JV 8)

Die Bal Lokval

Tree Of Woe

Can you imagine a Spartan-style Ride of the Valkyrie playing here?

For those of you who appreciates great classic movies or if you are a Arnold Schwarzenegger fan, when you hear the words “Tree of Woe” your mind immediately snaps to the 1982 blockbusting movie Conan the Barbarian.  “Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! Such a waste. Contemplate this on the tree of woe. Crucify him!” Thulsa immortalised the words “Tree of Woe”…. But, alas, this is not that Tree of Woe. It’s still a tree…well…kind of a tree.  More a bush, but it caused Pete some woe…

The Tree of Woe. That's Conan, not Pete.

The idea came when we watched 300… Where there was a mighty leap by one of the Spartans, getting some sweet, sweet air before lopping off a bloke’s arm with a scimitar-looking sword. It is highly unlikely to have such a massive jump if you don’t have a steady launch, so we contemplated this for a bit. How could we make Pete launch and also catch some sweet, sweet air before doing at least mildly entertaining at the end. Since chopping off one of our arms with a sword is out of the question, we came to the conclusion of using the Tree of Woe as the enemy. The hypothetical Persian whose arm gets lopped off in a great display of awesomeness.

We suited up and went bargain hunting. Before long we found some awesome mouse ears for Pete, as well as a sword. Okay, not a real sword per say….more like a crazy looking dagger thingy decorated in a gold handle and sheath. Not very big or intimidating, but it’d have to do. Returning home, the Tree of Woe beckoned Pete. He was mesmerized. He couldn’t help himself, it was as if in a trance…. Okay, not really, but he was excited to do this skit.

The hypothetical shield Pete launched from to slay the Tree of Woe

Since there was no Spartan with a huge shield to give him a boost as he leapt into oblivion, he clambered up a wall like a nimble cat in search of his next snack, and ripped out his sword. Okay, unsheathed his dagger. We were waiting in anticipation. This was going to be totally legendary. Pete stood on the wall, trying to keep his balance, his feet curling around the single brick wall like a vulture’s claws. As he prepared to do the intro, we mocked him and made some rather disturbing squawking sounds to emphasize how ridiculous this whole idea was. He did the intro. “I’m Pistol Pete, and this is the Tree of Woe!!!!”

Cue laughter and Ride of the Valkyrie playing in the background… “You can tell your Persian friends, they can go fishing!!” he roared. It was kind of weird, seen as there were no Persians or their friends anywhere near..In fact, Google estimates that should you drive to Persia, it would take 11 days and 14 hours of constant driving to cover the insane 19 701,3 km to Persia.

And there he leapt! I must hand it to him, he caught some sweet, sweet air with that jump! He even arched his back, dagger above the head. He captured the spirit of Sparta magnificently! After what seemed like an eternity of awesomeness he smashed into the Tree of Woe. It was a ruffle of twigs snapping and laughter, with the dry leaves swirling about after impact. He was trapped in the tree, so we obviously had to help him out then. Roughly strong handing him out of the tree like a East Coast pimp, he got scratched pretty good!

The weapon of choice. The heroic dagger!

The dagger. The dagger was still clutched in his hand when we pulled him out of the tree. It’s remarkable he didn’t let go of the dagger mid air or on impact, but like a true hero he held it like a boss! He mumbled something. “It really hurts. It burns” he muttered as we admired the scratches the Tree of Woe gave him on his torso.

I think it must have hurt quite a bit, as he exclaimed “I’m on Fire” with a hoarse voice.  There was quite a fair amount of scratches on Pete, and he took it like a man. Even on his legs and thighs were some scratches where the Tree of Woe took it’s toll. Overall I think that the Tree of Woe went very well. His form was good, his landing was well planned and the execution was flawless. I might rate that a 9 out of 10.

He was a tad jittery afterwards, so we offered him some cold drink to add some sugar to his adrenaline fueled body. Drawing inspiration from this skit, Pete decided that it’s time to step it up, and is working on a brand new skit called Bed of Roses. As I understand the basic premise is to make a landing of cardboard boxes, true stunt style, top it up with some trimmed rose and thorn bush branches and pieces. Then he will apparently proceed to jump from and obstacle, onto the boxes. He says it’s going to be the roof  of the house.

Tree of Woe takes no prisoners.

If he looked like this from the Tree of Woe, just imagine what horrors the Bed of Roses has in store for him. It’s going to be legendary.

 

I guess that’s it then for today 🙂

 

Remember to join our Facebook Fan Page, where you get access to exclusive photos and updates, as well as vintage Dudes of Hazard content only available on the page! Check out more crazy episodes on YouTube and follow us on Twitter!

Stay awesome, & stay safe! – JV 8)

Tree of Woe

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